Today i was shocked by one of my friend question.
"in your married life, have you ever wake up in the morning and wonder why do you marry your wife ?"
"is it ever occur to you that you are sorry for yourself that she is not the one you think she is?"
That was two big question with capital B in front of it.
That makes me thinking a bit (head hurts you know).
Marriage is a once in a lifetime action that have a lifetime consequences.Its about decision and a lot of analytical thinking in the process.
When all that is cute and bright subsides,the only thing that stay is your decision and your consciousness.
When we did mass in the church the priest comment about my wedding vow, he said the only thing that was true about this vow is when you say that you have a consciousness decision to love her (he like that part i guess).
I tell my friend that marriage is like when your parents sent you to school,there is no one could guarantee that their child will be graduate at the end of the year.They just do it day by day believing that if you do what the rules says, work your homework, study a lot, face the exam..you will graduate eventually.
And thats like marriage all about , follow the rules (in this case is your mental picture of a good and happy marriage), Do your homework everyday (wash the dishes,do laundry,throw the trash etc), study a lot (Read books,seek guidance,improve yourself), face the exam (face your trouble,grudge,learn to forgive...you are not marrying a God after all)......it will be till death do you part then.
The fear of commitment or marriage is often come from a dysfunctional family.
I have that...sorry to say.Fear is something that i have from my past but, fortunately it does not stop me from "jumping to the fire" aka have a marriage.
I just have to live with it every single day...if you ask me are you sure that you will have a happily ever after ?? are you sure you will stay married after 30 years from now ?
the answer is no..i am not sure..but i could tell you one thing..i am sure that today i still choose to have a married life and be happy about it.
its something you decide everyday that will count...and it could make you feel the blessing of it each day too.
So my friend..if you read this..i want you to know that there is no certainty in this life.....
but i think , in the other side of your fear you have a chance to became what you are not afraid of.
To be different then what you already experience...and it in your hands.As much as i do not want to have a relationship such as my parents.....i make a choice and i see to it that it will happen.
Marriage is an experience too beautiful not to be taken...but still i will honor your choice if you decide not to.
I always look marriage life as an opportunity for me to grow even more as a person..how you could love a person that sometimes irritate you.
"The definition of madness is : Doing the same things over and over again but you wish you get a diffrent outcome" -= Albert Einstein =-
